Note: “The fourth wall” is a term used to describe the imaginary wall at the front of the stage between the actors and the audience during a play (rooms only have three walls on set so that the inside of the room is visible to the audience). When an actor speaks directly to the audience, it is referred to as “breaking” the fourth wall.
For about 3 months, the Misunderstood Eggplant lay dormant while I recovered from an unexpected illness. Once I started to see the end of my recovery, I debated how to return to posting. When I started the site as Jenn’s Cook Book, the content was pretty cut and dry: short intro or notes, ingredients, and instructions. As time went by the content progressed, with the introduction of Special Projects and the Bitter/Sweet blog. Throughout it all, however, I intentionally left distance between the content and my personal life.
When I was able to return to the kitchen, I was forced to address the issue and eventually relented and posted a message on the main page of the site. The explanation was fairly brief and to the point, and I owed the site that much. Though I was reluctant to begin posting again, I knew that I did not want to let the site go. It was a temporary band-aid solution for the issue.
In the meantime, I had referred a friend to a blog I enjoyed that had some content relevant to her own cooking and lifestyle. I mentioned that I had not been to the blog in some time, but was certain it was still up and running as it appeared to have a strong online following. A few days ago, I happened to be browsing online and decided to visit the blog and to my surprise the author had posted a farewell message.
At first, the message was remarkably similar to my own but as I read further, I realized the author was not dealing with a temporary issue or simply moving on in life. She revealed some deep psychological troubles, and with the help of a therapist, she had decided to leave her blog because it was a reminder of childhood trauma (though to the benefit of her readers, she is allowing the content to remain online and performing basic maintenance).
Reading her admissions certainly put my own hesitation into perspective. She did not just allow readers a peek behind the fourth wall; rather she had torn it down completely. While I admire her bravery, it is not the route I prefer to take. What I did realize was that I could continue on with the Misunderstood Eggplant, despite my misgivings, because the site does not stir up negative emotions for me. Rather, I am ready to return to it and will seize this as an opportunity to again work toward the evolution of the site…into what, I cannot be sure, but I am excited to find out.
